I have been keeping up on the Sandy Hook tragedy and I am witnessing a disturbing and disgusting trend among the media and the general population. Some opinions out there are based upon assumption and a rush to judgement without knowing the facts and details. This poor woman, Nancy Lanza, was also a victim and in her death I think it is absolutely disgusting for so many members of the general public to be spouting some of the horrible things they are spouting about her.
For one, I am just absolutely disgusted that this poor woman is being blamed for absolutely everything. To include the fact that the boy refused to speak to his father. In all of the outrage that the America public feels and justifiable so, it seems that a vast majority of people are forgetting that this guy was a 20-year-old adult, highly intelligent, and has a high functioning form of Autism. This is not a 20-year-old with downs syndrome we are talking about here. Once our kids become adults,we as parents, are pretty limited in what we can do for them and we certainly can not force them to “get help”, no matter how desperately we, as parents, might think they need it.
I am so disturbed by and sick of our “blame the mother” society! So there are a few things that I want to address based upon comments made by members of the general public.
Comment: “From all the articles I’ve read, it sounds to me like she was a negligent drunk. ”
Response: Articles said she stopped by a local pub a few nights a week. As many many people do. Not one article said she was a “negligent drunk”. Many many articles did, however, state that people who knew her said “she was a caring and loving mother who was very active, hands on, and always there for her sons”. Stopping by a local pub a few nights a week for a drink or even two drinks does not make you a “negligent drunk”, especially when the “child” you are leaving at home is 20 years old.
Comment: The dad was alienated and estranged, probably by the mom.
Response: According to all articles that I have read Nancy and Peter Lanza’s divorce was very amicable and they remained on “good terms”. The articles said that Adam Lanza refused to see or speak to his father. Perhaps it was for something his father did.. Again this kid was 20 years old and it is ridiculous to blame his mother because he refused to speak to his father.
Comment: “And we damn sure don’t leave our children alone for 2 and a half days. Thats just bad parenting. must be nice to take a mini vacation.”
Response: Good Lord..a lot of 20 year olds don’t even live with their parents, including autistic 20 year olds! Guess, there is an entire nation of “bad parents” just leaving there 20-year-old children unsupervised while they go off on a “mini vacation”…The nerve!!! What is the nation coming too when parents are not hiring baby sitters for their 20 year olds!
Comment: If the USA turned to God/Jesus, that would make a big improvement.
Response: Yep turn to God/Jesus America….And burn them at the stake and wipe out entire civilizations chalked full of innocent women and children like historical Christians.
Comment: The mother should be convicted of first degree negligence (if there were such a law). Let’s see: anti-social/mentally ill boy, love of shooting, arsenal of guns. These are all signals. A boy like that doesn’t have the proper skills or mental ability to deal with rage. None of these things happen in a vacuum. Many times they are preventable by the person nearest the perpetrator. Stupidity and ignorance… a mom here.
Response: Ummm…the mother can’t be convicted of first degree negligence because her son blew her head off by shooting her in the face four times with a 22 caliber rifle while she slept . Oh by the way she is dead now…sheesh…really? Oh by the way his social awkwardness is a standard symptom of Autism, it doesn’t mean he was “anti social”. Stupidity and Ignorance indeed. (The mom of four to include an autistic child here)
Comment: A son’s failure is a parent’s failure. Although it’s sad to say, she ate what she planted.
Response: really? are you referring to the murderous son or the one who graduated from college and was a successful accountant for a well established firm by the time he was 27 years old? Oh by the way, he lived in that basement and played those video games too…Just saying
Comment: “And really what was on her mind besides being a gun lover”.
Response; “I guess you can ask that question to the 42% of American’s who are “gun lovers”
Comment: The mother is fully responsible for allowing this young man access to guns and ammo. With all the money she had access to, she could have afforded a proper heavy duty gun safe that would have been all but impenetrable for a person to enter, without torch-cutting skills, unless he was also allowed access to the combo or safe key. Divorce lawyers most certainly have a role to play in all of this post divorce mayhem.
Response: Who said they were not locked up? According to your line of reasoning we could also say that is was the fault of the Sandy Hook staff, the school district, the state, and the federal government fault that “with all the money they had access to the school should have been all but impenetrable for a person to get into” and gain access to 20 plus children…He broke into a lock down school by the way, in broad day light, with a bunch of adults around. Obviously, he would also have the mental capacity to break into a gun safe at home if he really wanted those guns badly enough.
Comment: The killer liked weapons and the military, but he was too chicken to actually join the armed forces and fight against a live enemy. Sounds like another fine Sarah Palin supporter.
Response: Ummm the kid was not to “chicken’….He was Autistic so he could not “actually join the military and fight against a live enemy”…sigh…(Wife of a soldier who deployed 5 times and the mother of an autistic 10-year-old boy)
The bottom line is this;
We don’t know these people…We don’t know this family..We don’t know Nancy Lanza…We don’t know her situation…But what we do know is that this poor woman was shot in the face four times with a high-caliber 22 rifle as she slept in her own bed by her own son. Honestly, I think she has more than “paid” for any perceived parental mistakes the public feels she has made. Can’t we just let the poor woman rest in peace? Do we really need to dig her up and crucify her?
Have a little compassion for this woman in her death and for her poor son, Ryan Lanza, who lost his mother and his brother and has to live the rest of his life knowing what his brother did. After all, how would you feel to have people writing such horrible and judgmental things about your mother after she was brutally murdered by your own sibling? Shame on anyone who is rushing to judgement and blaming this women when they don’t know her or the facts of the situation